I have been feeling very uninspired lately.
As much as i did want to write, i just couldn't. It seemed like nothing much was happening around me to write about. Which of course is not true. The truth is, i had drowned myself in work, How i met you mother, having intelligent but completely inconsequential (at least for me) conversations with a friend who enjoys them too.
All of these led me to stay up until 2 am every morning. Considering that i'm the person who needs 8 hours of sleep, my late nights left me feeling like a zombie every morning. No amount of kajal would hide my puffy eyes in the morning.When i do this 2 days in a row, you could count the nerves in my eyeballs.
Add to this the joys of being a woman and i had a stroke of exhaustion. I actually remember feeling like my legs would give way or i would throw up. That horrible phase is passe, however, i still stayed up until 2 am watching HIMYM. And today at work, i was doodling sitting next to my boss in the meeting while he was talking. It was some pretty neat doodling btw. At one point in time i recall, he asked me, do you follow me? i said No ofcourse (i dont believe in lying to my boss about important things) and he said, you might if you focussed on me instead of the rambo you just created on paper. Who's to say my Rambo actually looked better.
But what really got me to the doodling was the training i attended in the first half at work. Trainings leave my mind completely paralyzed with the stroke of boredom. Thats when i decided to ................ Travel.
Yeah yeah i know. Travelling is my response to everything. If i could, i would travel all day, all night, all the days on the year and all the years of my life. Coming back to my rather regular life. I NEED to travel. Its been 5 months since i got back from my Legendary Eurotrip, my finances don't look particularly pretty.But travelling is my only getaway, my only nirvana, my only meditation, my only yoga.... im drifting again.
I'd probably travel to some obscure place in India, can't afford overseas right now. Here's something i stumbled upon, its called Song of the Open Road by Walter Whitman. Its a really long song.. i'm just quoting the first and last paragraph of it :
AFOOT and light-hearted, I take to the open road,
Healthy, free, the world before me,
The long brown path before me, leading wherever I choose.
Henceforth I ask not good-fortune- I myself am good fortune;
Henceforth I whimper no more, postpone no more, need nothing,
Strong and content, I travel the open road.
The earth- that is sufficient;
I do not want the constellations any nearer;
I know they are very well where they are;
I know they suffice for those who belong to them.
(Still here I carry my old delicious burdens;
I carry them, men and women- I carry them with me wherever I go;
I swear it is impossible for me to get rid of them;
I am fill'd with them, and I will fill them in return.)
....
Allons! the road is before us!
It is safe- I have tried it- my own feet have tried it well.
Allons! be not detain'd!
Let the paper remain on the desk unwritten, and the book on the shelf unopen'd!
Let the tools remain in the workshop! let the money remain unearn'd!
Let the school stand! mind not the cry of the teacher!
Let the preacher preach in his pulpit! let the lawyer plead in the court, and the judge expound the law.
Mon enfant! I give you my hand!
I give you my love, more precious than money,
I give you myself, before preaching or law;
Will you give me yourself? will you come travel with me?
Shall we stick by each other as long as we live?
